Runaway wedding - I

My cousin, the quiet chap who doesn't know how to say no to anyone, ran away and got married. He and his then fiance tried their best to make the girl's parents understand that there is nothing wrong in a Sardarni and a Bengali getting married. But failed. So having a runaway wedding was the only course.

I shamelessly enjoyed the wedding; the food, the dressing up, the tension, the drama, everything...:-)Here's a day by day account.

The morning of Feb 18: The bride ran away from home without telling her parents. My side of the family was ok with the wedding. Actually Bengali weddings are at least 2 to 3 days long but since people were in a hurry, we had a short-cut wedding which was not short duration-wise that is. In the morning, we went to a temple and finished off the ceremony to invoke the blessings of the ancestors. My dad sat instead of the groom's father as his father couldn't make it from Germany. My uncle from Bangalore was substituted as the bride's father.

When I entered the temple, the first thing that I noticed was the contraption inside the temple (I believe that all temples have this thing now)that rang the bells and beat the drums at the same time to no recognizable beat!! It was so funny. You want to see mechanization taking over our lives, well, here it is! Apparently, the drummers have become extinct so now we need machines instead of men. After the ceremony, the mobile baaraat went to eat breakfast where we created a huge racket. The sad part to the entire festive occasion was the fact that I had to go to office for an hour or two. But overall a completely mast time I had.

Egg!!!??!!

Not the round, white, of chicken origin variety that we eat almost everyday. This Egg is a popular club in London. It's on 200 York Way, Kings Cross, London, N7 9AX. Yeah me too… I'm stumped! Why Egg? Why not Chicken, Mutton, Prawn, Fish?

If I was a tourist brochure, this is what I would say:

From the outside on York Way, all you’ll see is an unassuming industrial building but don’t let initial appearances deceive you. Egg is a new club from Trade boss Laurence Malice, and he knows how to put on a party! An intimate atmosphere combines 800 people in 3 rooms, an outdoor balcony terrace and an open air courtyard decorated with ibizan flair. For the summer there's even a swimming pool!

I'm glad I'm not a tourist brochure!!

An atypical love poem

What I like about Tabish Khair's poetry is his style, the sparseness of composition, the way he sparingly uses emotion so that when he does use it, it hits you good. For example, the poem below (it's a short poem, so I have put it down here). Were it not for the title of the poem screaming "love poem", I would have completely missed the point! TK is subtle and effective. I hope more people start reading him.


Life science: A love poem

by Tabish Khair

1.a

Walking the streets of your world,
I sometimes come upon an open space,
Am startled by a familiar noise,
And turn to catch an empty place:
Only a fountain, dry, unrestored,
Its water turned to voice.

1.b

Walking the night of your world,
I fill my arms with you,
And turning to me in sleepiness
You hold me too;
We fit, perfectly forged,
Each other's emptiness

1.c

Walking the waters of your world
I feel that I cannot drown
Knowing that the border between stream and earth is gone;
Replaced by that where
Miracles are in order.

2.
Turning the pages of your world,
I notice with what discipline
Your knowledge has been lined.
You know what our lives mean,
You've got it down to two words:
Life science.

***
FYI: Tabish Khair is Assistant Professor at the English Department of Copenhagen University and the author of Where Parallel Lines Meet (a collection of poems), Babu Fictions (Lit crit), and The Bus Stopped (novel) among other works.

Dissecting love over bhelpuri

A very close friend of mine and I dissected the notion of love over bhelpuri last evening. We usually try and meet at a place that's convenient for both of us because we are very busy people. :) The fact that we were meeting in the middle of the week was in itself a cause for celebration. So there I was - early by 2 minutes a record that I'd like to keep - waiting for her to finish her second job and join me.

The place where we decided to meet is the tackiest bhelpuri joint in town. It had shimmering gold leaf stuck on the ceiling. Why do you need gold on the ceiling unless you are the Sultan of Brunei? I think for no other reason than to deflect light so that they can cost cut on lighting!! What cheapos! And they make roaring business anyway. The lighting was loud; the waiters indifferent. The table was dirty. I was searching for clean spots to keep my bag and books. The only good thing that I liked about the place was the fact that it had a sunshade dark mirror on the wall that I sat next to. There were so many shiny surfaces that I could see myself reflected on some wall far away by some complex reflecting mechanism. And boy, did I look good. I thought that it was the lighting. The yellow lights always make me look good. But when she walked in and said that I was looking gorgeous, I thought that perhaps, I was indeed looking good.

The food was good. And that was the saving grace of that place. She had Bhelpuri, I dahi vada, and then we split the dahi papri chat between us. I can think of only one other place that serves better bhelpuri than this place and that is Gangotri's at Cathedral Road.

As usual, guys were a big part of the conversation. She is the ultimate cynic. Men are hopeless according to her. After some really sad experiences, she has given up on love. Which I think is great in a way because then nothing can hurt you. I'm not really sure where in the cynic-meter I am but I thought that I should be close. Oh no, she insists that I walk around with my head in the clouds!! Anyways, I gave her books back along with one book of mine she had long asked me.

Black is overrated

Yes, I don't agree with popular opinion. I think Black is overrated. Amitabh did a good job; Rani was simply splendid; Shernaz Patel is and was one of the finest actresses that we have in India today. (She is also a very simple person. One can walk up to her and chat. I know. I did it.) Dhritiman Chatterjee, the veteran Ray actor was over acting but apparently that was what Sanjay Leela Bhansali wanted. Theatre actress Nandana Sen (Amartya Sen's second daughter) was delightfully bitchy as the jealous sister. She should have got more scenes though given her talent level. I hope she gets really good projects now. Of course, Ayesha Kapoor takes the cake, icing, and the bakery for her acting!

Now for the reasons why I thought that Black was overrated. Fine, it's the story of a blind, deaf, dumb girl, but does she have to have a neck condition as well. I mean, isn't that really unfair for one person to have so many disabilities (oops, special abilities)? Second, why does every frame have to look like a picture postcard? I felt the arranged look of the castle (can't think of calling the Mcnelly residence anything else), the faux rosewood furniture, the precise dark, Edwardian costume of the Anglo-Indian Mcnellys, the blue tint of the whole film... gives it all a very artificial feel. It's a touching story all right.. I cried. Yes, I do that. I'm not ashamed of it. But don't catch me crying.. that would be embarrassing! Third reason, Amitabh needn't have kissed Rani. And if he did , what's the big deal? It was a very chaste kiss if I remember right. I was expecting them to get involved. At least if SLB had been really bold, he would have shown that aspect as well. Or is he scared that if he had done that, his film would have gone the Lamhe way? Fourth, the whole film I felt was over the top. Should teachers manhandle their wards? Should expensive china be thrown around the sets for effect? I don't think so. For a Hindi film, it sure was a departure from the jhatak matak cinema that puts Givinda-ish films to shame. But from the point of view of world cinema, I don't think it makes an impact. My point of reference is Roberto Benigni's Life is Beautiful.

I know many people are floored by this film. And by all means, please do disagree with me. But I stand by what I said. There are many things that I like about Black but Black isn't one of them!

Difference between the artist and the craftsperson

My random thoughts run into various directions. Sample this:

According to RG Collingwood (Principles of Art) what distinguishes the artist from the craftsman is that the craftsman has a precise notion of what s/he is
constructing.

The artist, in contrast, performs his/her creations to learn what they become. And in learning what they become, the artist informs him/herself about something
previously unknown to the artist.

In one way, an artist never has a career at all. They not only work for themselves, they often have few clues about where they are headed. There is no career ladder, as there is no ladder at all.

Yes, the artist improves his/her technique, but that is secondary.

Now, when I read this I was reminded of my friend who is making her living by writing. By the above definition, she would be an artist not a craftsperson. Hey Ariel, I'm talking about you. :)

V day blues and yellows

Think about V day and some people's eyes mist over, their breathing quickens and overall they look pretty stupid. And I'm not saying this just because I'm single... [Hint... hint. :)] I should V day is a pretty silly concept. Come on is romance limited to red heart-shaped balloons or Hallmark cards? I don't think so. Anything can be romantic. A glance across the room. A special smile. A touch. Also, love does not keep a calender, turning up only on Feb 14. Saint Valentine may have been punctual but love aint. In other words, Feb 14 is a card company conspiracy to seperate people from their cash in the shortest possible time. Of course, there's mother's day, father's day, pet's day etc day...the list goes on.

I forsee a future where there will be "Give a rest to your right arm" day especially as the after effects of Carpel Tunnel Syndrome comes clear say in a decade or so. That would be when people would have discovered a different software that would make keyboards redundant. Or worse, we might have "Meet other human beings" day when we would have lost touch with the art of making friends as people become best friends with their laptops. Or "Hold a book" day when people would have forgotten what a book looks like. Hmm. I could go on. But you get the drift. So all ye singletons, do not despair, V day is a sham and by staying away from celebrating it, we are helping to save the civilization!!!

Quote of the day, month, and year

I really liked this quote:

There are only three things to be done with a woman. You can love her, suffer for her, or turn her into literature.

-Lawrence Durrel (1912 to 90) British author

Banned drugs

I'm appalled at the way that India has become the dumping ground for banned drugs. I always used to pop a baralgan (I'm not sure if this is the right spelling) whenever I used to have stomach ache till someone told me that this drug was banned everywhere but in India.

What is it with the globalization thing? Is this how globalization is supposed to affect III world countries? On the one hand, you have activists like Arundhati Roy and Medha Patkar who try to tell us something and on the other hand, every time we go to the super market, we pick up stuff that may or may not have been rejected by some Ist world country. Where is the dignity of life in that? Do the statistics quoted by Roy in her celebrated lectures just an exaggeration?

I can understand the need to recycle computers. But life-saving drugs? A person's life depends on what drugs they can or not get in time. I could go on and on with another thing and that is industrial waste but I'll leave that for another day! For today, I have a list of drugs that are banned in India. Now, I'm not sure if this is a genuine list. So take it with a pinch of salt.

ANALGIN: This is a pain-killer. Reason for ban: Bone marrow depression. Brand name: Novalgin

CISAPRIDE: Acidity, constipation. Reason for ban : irregular heartbeat Brand name : Ciza, Syspride

DROPERIDOL: Anti-depressant. Reason for ban : Irregular heartbeat. Brand name :Droperol

FURAZOLIDONE: Antidiarrhoeal. Reason for ban : Cancer. Brand name : Furoxone, Lomofen

NIMESULIDE: Painkiller, fever. Reason for ban : Liver failure. Brand name : Nise, Nimulid

NITROFURAZONE: Antibacterial cream. Reason for ban : Cancer. Brand name : Furacin

PHENOLPHTHALEIN: Laxative. Reason for ban : Cancer. Brand name : Agarol

PHENYLPROPANOLAMINE: cold and cough. Reason for ban : stroke. Brand name : D'cold, Vicks Action-500

OXYPHENBUTAZONE: Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug. Reason for ban : Bone marrow depression. Brand name : Sioril

PIPERAZINE: Anti-worms. Reason for ban : Nerve damage. Brand name : Piperazine

QUINIODOCHLOR: Anti-diarrhoeal. Reason for ban : Damage to sight. Brand name :Enteroquinol

Hi5 invite

There was a time when "high five" was something that occured when two hands met in midair. Apparently that's no longer valid. Hi-fi applies to your stereo system or mp3/DVD player. Flash forward post 2003, Hi5 is the social network on the web. Here's an open invite for like-minded people.

http://www.hi5.com/i?l=RGYZWCT

WARNING: click on the link only and only if you want to be listed as my friend. Don't click if you don't mean it. Remember that I can decline your invite :) Don't click accidentally. No excuses will be entertained. For example: my hand hit the invite link because my cat was into this extremely challenging taebo on my laptop (will not do).

A belated happy new year

Yeah, I know, it's the second month of the year and people are tired about being wished a "happy new year." By now this has become a custom that is as redundant as feeding dodos in Madagaskar. But I don't care. So there Happy New Year!! Though you can count out the usual chirpiness that I'm associated with.